Paul’s Father’s Day Tribute to His Father and His Son

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Speaker 1: And we continue with our American stories and our special Father’s Day show, all show long stories about fathers, good ones, not so good ones. Our next story comes to us from Paul Bauer in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

00:00:23
Speaker 2: Today.

00:00:23
Speaker 1: Paul brings us two Father’s Day stories, one about his father and the other a story about his son.

00:00:30
Speaker 2: Like a lot of kids, when I was young, I didn’t always get along with my parents. And then as I got older, as many kids do, I realized my parents were not so dumb after all, and they did all they could to teach me and leave me to be the best person I can be. I wrote a short poem describing this relationship with my dad. I thought Father’s Day would be a good time to share this story. My poem is titled tell It Like It Is, and it goes like this, I’ve had fights with my father. It was my doing. Here is I’ll write this story honestly. In fact, I’ll tell it like it is, like many young teenagers do. I fell into the trap. I don’t need my parents. I don’t want to hear their crap. I don’t cause them any trouble. Why can’t they just let me be? Why do they tell me what to do. Why do they preach to me. They don’t know my struggles. They’re not in high school. Come home on time when you go out, Now, that’s a stupid rule. They dragged me to church on Sundays. I went along begrudgingly. Can’t wait until I’m eighteen. I’ll show them. They’ll see you’re a fine young man. My dad would say, but there’s much more you could do. I don’t want to hear such nonsense. After all, he has no clue. He didn’t like my selfish ways, but at the time I didn’t care. In one ear and out the other went the wisdom he had to share. Who am I? Why am I here? My dad’s questions challenged me. There’s a broader meaning to my life. That’s what he wanted me to see. Then I went off to college. My eyes could not believe their sight. My classmates had this all wrong. Perhaps my dad was right. I saw disregard for others. Morals went out the door. This is not the life I want to live. Dad’s right, I can do more. I realized it wasn’t what I did that was not pleasing to Dad, but rather what I didn’t do. There was more life to be had. His words and actions earlier were now becoming clear. It’s not about myself at all. I should serve others while I’m here. The talks we had about our faith, the Bible verses we both read, had new perspective in my mind. It now made sense what he had said. I’m here to be a servant, not to receive, but give. My parents had this figured out. This is the life they live. If I would have only paid attention, I would not have gotten it all wrong. My parents were great examples. I should have seen this all along. My dad told it like it was my turn to tell it like it is. My life will have more purpose when I live mine like Dad lived his. I love you, Pops. Happy Father’s Day. Many of us have had the experience of loved ones passing away. It can be quite challenging dealing with the wide range of emotions that follow. There’s a sadness that comes along with missing them during our daily routines, and there are the fond memories that we hold on to to help us through the grieving process. My son Tim passed away at a much too early young age of thirty. I miss him very much every day. Some days are harder than others. His birthday, for example, and the birthdays of his two young children. My grandkids are especially tough. Anniversaries are difficult, and even normal nice weather days were in the past we would randomly get together for a bike ride. They’re just a few examples. One way that I deal with my emotions is to write. I enjoy writing, and for me, it seems easier to write than to talk about my feelings. So when the first Father’s Day after Tim’s death came around, I wrote his poem as a tribute to Tim and as a way to express my emotions. It’s titled My First Father’s Day Without You, and it goes like this, to day is my first Father’s Day without you here to say, Hi, Dad, what would you like to do? I’m proud to be your dad, And what makes to day sad is being unable to share it with you. I sure miss you, son. You are my number one. God called you after thirty short years. I don’t understand why, and I’m not gonna lie. I didn’t know. I had so many tears. Some things I cannot explain in my small human brain, but my faith tells me You’re with our God now. I believe it is true, and somehow I’ll make it through. But I admit some days I wonder, how do you know? How I care? How much I wish I was there to be with you the night God called you home. If we were together that day, I’d have had so much to say. Instead, I’m left with this silly poem. It seems I think of you more than I ever did before. Did I take you for granted? My son? I’m learning in such a hard way how precious life is. Each day from now on, I won’t waste a single one. My eyes play tricks on me?

00:05:27
Speaker 1: Is that you.

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Speaker 2: I see a man walk past. I thought for sure it was you in the mirror. I stare as though I see you there, I feel your presence and your energy too. A golf with your frisbee with nobody but me. It’s not my favorite sport, but you love to play. It doesn’t make you appear, it doesn’t bring you back here, but I feel we are closer this way. Your aunts and uncles do call helping me through it all. They share love and support, and they care. They remember Timmy, and they want to help me. Family, we find true love there. Day turns into night while I’m at your grave sight. It’s hard to believe life has come down to this time spent there in my chair saying prayer after prayer. Do you know it is you that I miss? Friends ask if I’m okay. I don’t know what to say. Truthfully, I’m not doing so well. Each day there’s a new reminder of me and you. My life has changed, and I’m sure they can tell. I ask for relief when I’m alone in my grief, but the sorrow, un hurt won’t go away. I never knew that a dad could feel so very bad knowing he can’t hug his only son. To day, I miss your sly smile. I haven’t seen it in a while, although when I close my eyes it is there. I miss hearing Hi Dad. Those two words make me glad no longer. Hearing them doesn’t seem fair. Selfishly, I want you here. I sure wish you were near. To Day’s a good day for a bike ride with you. Although I try to let go, believing God wants it so, I find it very difficult to do with you. I had fun, but we left so much undone. We had more joy and sorrow yet to share. When I hear your kids laugh and I chuckle at their gaff Oh, how I wish you were there. I don’t know what to do when from out of the blue, Mom’s crying. You and her are apart. My words aren’t enough. She is taking this ruff. I can’t fix the hole in her heart. Your sister gives us hope. She helps Mom and me cope. She’s been wonderful therefore Mom and Dad, but it’s hard on her too. She also misses you, and she doesn’t like seeing me and Mom’s sad. If you were here to day, I love you, son, I would say I’d give you a big hug if I could, I’d make sure you knew just how much I love you. I don’t say this as much as I SHU should. It somehow lessens the hurt. When I wear your T shirt, I put on your coat when it’s cold. I think I hear your words in the songs of the birds, that music will never grow old. I try hard to be strong as each day drags along, much easier said than is done. When my weakness hits me, you’ll find me down on my knee asking God to please welcome my son. I’m left with fond memories and fun. Timmy stories, I tell them as often as I can. Feelings I never knew arise when I talk about you. My little boy became a fine young man. I become mesmerized when I look into Omen’s eyes and I see your resemblance in him. When Piper can’t sit still and I see her determined will, I can’t help but think that’s my son. Tim. Your legacy lives on even though you were gone. Your kids will make you proud. There’s no doubt. There are clear signs of you in all that they do. Your life shines, it will never burn out. I still see you clearly watching out the window for me to come home when you were about eight. Can you do so once more? And when I’m on earth no more, come and greet me at Heaven’s front gate. Yes. On one hand, I’m sad, but I’m also very glad. On my first Father’s Day without you, I had thirty great years sharing laughter in tears, and of course sharing love with you too.

00:09:32
Speaker 3: And a special thanks to Paul Bauer for sharing his heart and his two Father’s Day tributes. His two Father’s Day poems, one to his father and one to his son.

00:09:44
Speaker 1: Paul Bower’s father’s day stories. Two beauties here on our American story.