Forgiveness

00:00:10
Speaker 1: And we returned to our American stories. Up next, the beautiful legacy of Laura Treppendall, a young lady whose life was cut tragically short, and the resulting story of grace and forgiveness offered by her family. Here’s Madison, the.

00:00:32
Speaker 2: The best way to find out who a person truly is is to hear it straight from their family. Let’s hear from David and Rob, the father and brother of Laura Treppendall.

00:00:44
Speaker 3: Laura was definitely the first child. She kind of dominated the other children, right, Rob?

00:00:49
Speaker 4: She was a little bossy, you know. She played her role well of being the oldest child, and she followed the rules.

00:00:56
Speaker 5: And she definitely made sure that we follow the rules.

00:00:58
Speaker 3: Yeah. Summer, Laura went up to visit with her grandmother, my mother, Geene Mama. And after several days together, my mother got frustrated with Laura, and she sat her down to teach her a lesson, and she says, “Laura, you have a very bad habit for a child, and that is you correct people.” “And particularly what’s bothersome is that you correct adults.” “You should never correct adults.” And Laura looked at her, serious as she could be, and she says, “Gee, Mama, it’s adults, not adults.” My mother just fell out laughing.

00:01:45
Speaker 5: She just left her alone after that. Classic oldest child.

00:01:49
Speaker 3: Yeah. Catherine was born seventeen months later, and then three years later you came. Three years later, Sophie came. And Laura was just the coolest, the delightful, interesting, funny child. She had this ability to just be completely press up with people, so that when she was talking to you, nobody else mattered.

00:02:13
Speaker 5: She made you feel important.

00:02:16
Speaker 4: It kind of created a problem with guys because.

00:02:19
Speaker 5: They would all think she was in love with them. She would do this.

00:02:21
Speaker 4: Thing where she would hold your hand with both of hers. It was just all in, deeply into your eyes. It’s like, how do you resist that?

00:02:29
Speaker 5: She actually was just a really good friend, right?

00:02:33
Speaker 2: Laura was the first of her siblings to move out for college. One night, she was hanging out with friends in her new town of Oxford, Mississippi. That same night, another student was with friends. They were drinking at a bar.

00:02:45
Speaker 4: It was a Thursday night, February sixth. She was hanging out with friends, having some community. It was very close to the bar, it was like a few hundred yards, and then she headed home sometime around eleven.

00:02:56
Speaker 3: You know, they closed the bar. They were in there just playing these kids as much alcohol as they could, and they said, “Okay, everybody out.” They sent everybody out. Greg Gibbs was underage. Most of the guys that were Greg and eight friends. Here they are at a bar.

00:03:15
Speaker 5: They’re nineteen years old.

00:03:16
Speaker 3: Lighten twenty years old. They’re underage. And Greg says, he says, “Hey, I’m too drunk to drive. Can anybody else drive?” And they all said, “We’re too drunk to drifted.” Nobody volunteered to be the day’s driver, and so, so Greg says, “Okay, it’s not very far.” “‘Let’s, let’s go.’” We get to call it eleven thirty or so at night from Dallas, who was Laura’s boyfriend, that was almost her fiancé. He was a paramedic, and so Dallas said, “Laura has been in a terrible wreck, and she’s been taken to the Baptist Hospital, and I’ll tell you whatever I know when I find it out.” And so, so we go through an hour and a half of this incredible agony, and then we get the next phone call, and it’s Dallas, and then he hands it to the doctor, and the doctor says, “She’s gone.” Within thirty minutes after that phone call. My first cousin, Wellyn and his wife, and the Episcopal minister, we’re knocking on our door. They just, you know, they just showed up. There’s something to be said for just showing up.

00:05:03
Speaker 2: Although Laura attended college in Mississippi, her funeral was held in her home state of Louisiana.

00:05:10
Speaker 3: Oxford is what, from Baton Rouge? Five hours or so? Five hours on the money. We had like one hundred fifty kids come from Oxford for a funeral. I’m gonna remember if it was fourteen or fifteen different girls that came up to me and kind of put their arms around me and said, “Laura was my best friend.” She had fifteen girls that considered Laura to be their best friend. How do you do that? I’ll tell you what, the funeral was something else. It was at First Presbyterian Church, and this church will see about twelve hundred people; over two thousand people that came to that funeral. Three people spoke, and Phyllis’s one, and Phyllis was one of her teachers of Baton Rouge, so doing that service. When we started it, it was really overcast, and it was really dreary, and right when Phyllis started her ser talking about Laura, the sun came through the windows, and it just lit up the whole thing. It was sort of striking.

00:06:23
Speaker 4: How that happened, and everybody showed up, and the letters that we got for days and months and years after she died, of people who are affected by her, they’re still coming in.

00:06:35
Speaker 5: It’s a fair powerful thing.

00:06:37
Speaker 2: One of the letters came from James, the paramedic on duty the night of Laura’s wreck. Years later, he felt the urge to contact David to tell him about the last moments he was able to spend with Laura and the regrets he had. Here’s James to read the letter.

00:06:54
Speaker 6: Hello, David, this is hard for me. My name is James Pritchard. I’m a retired cap at the Oxford Fire Department. On February seventh, two thousand and three, I had the privilege to sit in the car with Lord and say a prayer and make a promise to her that everything was going to be okay. I will never forgive myself of telling her that lie, and I will also never forget the look of comfort she had on her beautiful face as I prayed and told her that we were going to be finished in just one minute. I know, just from the moment she and I shared, she is with our Lord, and she is much happy and healthier than anybody on this earth. I’m so sorry if I’m bringing up hurtful thoughts and memories. I just can’t go any longer without trying to let you know that I truly try my best to save your beautiful little girl. Since that night, I’ve either thought about or seen Laura every time I laid my head down, but I thought it would either upset you or seem selfish to come text you. The past few years, my career has caught up with me, both mentally and physically, and I just wanted to ask you for your forgiveness for not keeping my promise to Laura. I’m in no way asking for pity. I just need to find peace on mouth through this tragedy. After that night, I would pray with the people that I was trying to help, but I would never again promise anyone that was going to make things okay, whether they would be okay. I’m so sorry I couldn’t do more, and I pray that you and your family have found peace, and I hope to find your forgiveness, and I thank you for your time.

00:08:45
Speaker 2: Today, James has come to terms with some of the regrets of his career, and the Treppendalls have reassured him that he didn’t lie and that Laura really is okay.

00:09:00
Speaker 1: Two words you never want to hear as a parent: “She’s gone.” In my goodness, the letter we just heard. These are the stories we love to bring you, and you’re just at the beginning. The remarkable and regrettably short life. The beautiful life of Laura Treppendall and her families continues here on Our American Stories. And we’re back with Our American Stories and the story of Laura Treppendall. You’re about to hear from another of the many people who were impacted by her life. Les Newsome was the minister of RUF, the university fellowship group at Laura’s college here in our small town of Oxford, Mississippi, about an hour south of Memphis.

00:10:38
Speaker 7: Laura tended to create the very community that she was seeking, but she kind of found a home in her friendships in RUF.

00:10:47
Speaker 3: The thing about.

00:10:47
Speaker 7: Laura that was the most compelling to me was Laura was not unaware of the realities of life.

00:10:54
Speaker 5: In the day surrounding her death.

00:10:56
Speaker 7: I do think that there was a tendency from the community around us to turn her into sort of Saint Laura Treppendall, which is perfectly natural because she was so delightful. But Laura, I always thought, would be so uncomfortable with it, because she knew her own struggles. She knew that she was a flawed person, struggles that she was willing to admit, and I always wanted that to at least be always said that what brought the richness of her character was not a natural born sunny disposition. That’s what made her so delightful to be around. So, yeah, we instantly connected, and she was involved in lots of our small groups and a lot of just great connections people. As a matter of fact, we were having our UF in the springtime on Thursday nights in two thousand and three, on the evening of her passing, she had left our UF to attend a group of girls that were having discussion time. They would, after OURF, go to someone’s house. They would play a board game together and just talk and share a lot of rich fellowship together. That was vital for Laura and central to who she was, and the fact that it was what she was involved in in the night of her death always meant a lot to me, and thinking about it, I’d actually gone to my own small group myself. Right around, you know, eleven thirty or midnight, we began to hear sirens from the house that I was at. She was on her way home from that gathering with those girls to her home to work on the paper. She actually told them, “I’ve got to leave early because I’ve got to go work on the paper.” I left my gathering probably around midnight, went home, and at that moment got a call from her boyfriend, Dallas, saying, “Laura’s in the hospital.”

00:12:19
Speaker 5: “She’s been struck by a car.”

00:12:20
Speaker 7: “We don’t know if she’s going to make it.” So I made it to the hospital at around twelve thirty, maybe one o’clock in the morning, and they were already probably fifty college students gathered in the lobby of Baptist Hospital there, and somewhere around one thirty or so, Dean of Students came out and announced that Laura had passed. I was immediately taken back to meet with Dallas. We left the hospital together, and about two a.m. to about five a.m. All of Dallas’s friends just descended on his home in the middle of the nights. I knew their friend was hurting, and you could start to see the beginning formation of a community that would rally around a great tragedy but produces this amazing fruit of bomb undid connected relationships that exist to this day, texting each other on that February evening, and I think that David would definitely say that Dallas became a part of their family. As a matter of fact, when Dallas got married many, many years later, they were at the wedding celebrating along with Dallas and his new wife, Christy. So it’s just amazing to see how God sort of worked through Laura’s life. She was infectious with grace, and it continued to manifest itself even after her death. In the days after her death, they were compiling photographs and someone had taken a picture of Laura in a field, just typical Laura. They had arrived to this field because she just thought it was beautiful, and she thought, “You know what, that’s a field that we just need to run across.” So they had pulled the car over and pulled their camera and snapped a quick photo as Laura is starting to run up into the field, so it’s the pictures of this large field, and she’s on the right of the photograph running up the hill. And after she passed, that photo became the one that everybody sort of clung to because everybody kept looking at saying, “You know, it just looks like she’s going somewhere,” and we knew exactly where she was going. Was very inspirational, so much so that there were a couple of ladies that actually did paintings of that photograph that I kept ’cause they always reminded me of Laura’s homegoing.

00:14:17
Speaker 2: The day after Laura’s passing, Les and Laura’s boyfriend, Dallas, rode together to Saint Francisville, Louisiana, where her parents, David and Coco, were having a wake at their home.

00:14:29
Speaker 7: Before we left for Saint Francisville, Dallas and I went to her house. As soon as I walked into her room, there’s that immediate heartbreak of seeing a place that used to be occupied and isn’t anymore, and it just, it all looks wrong and unnerving. But I immediately also noticed that she had painted all over the walls, and the first thing I saw on the left-hand side. I can still put myself there. On the top of the clauset was whatever my lot thou hast taught me to say: “It is well with my soul.” It was the first thing I saw when I went into her bedroom. It was just, it was Laura’s identity, so much so that she couldn’t even live in a room without being plastered on the walls. And I actually got to preach on that very passage at her funeral some days later, which was a big honor for me. It was one of those evenings where you’re up into the night trying to put together whatever I was going to do, and what in the world do you say in the midst of this kind of tragedy? But it was her guidance that got me through that, because she was the one who had provided the scripture, passage, and the theme of her life, and she’s got a chance to stand up and tell people that it was well with Laura’s soul, and there’s a lot of joy in that.

00:15:34
Speaker 2: Les remembers being there with the Treppendalls at the sentencing for Greg, the young man who struck Laura.

00:15:41
Speaker 3: Again.

00:15:41
Speaker 7: I can place myself in that courtroom. I do think Greg came in within a tendent amount of fear and anxiety, but people began to stand up and read letters, and the judge even talked about how many letters they had received, and he ended by saying, “And I was most astounded by the leave that I received from the young lady’s parents, saying that they had forgiven Greg completely and did not hold any grudges against him.”

00:16:09
Speaker 2: Here’s David to read the letter that his family wrote to the judge on October the twenty-first, two thousand and three, about a week before Greg’s sentencing.

00:16:19
Speaker 3: Your Honor, we appreciate the opportunity to convey our sentiments to you regarding the sentencing of Greg Gibbs. We are Christians. Forgiveness is an integral part of our Christian faith. We have asked Christ, and He has enabled us to fully forgive Greg Gibbs and the other young men involved in this tragedy. Therefore, from our own personal perspective, we have no need, nor will we gain any satisfaction from seeing Greg Gibbs further punished. We recognize, however, that much more is involved here: their own personal well-being. A felony has been committed; the life of a beautiful, innocent young woman has been lost in this state. Through the office of your Court, is responsible for taking the wisest possible action to minimize the chances of similar tragedies reoccurring. You have been entrusted with an awesome responsibility. We pray that God will guide you and give you His wisdom as you decide the appropriate sentence for Greg Gibbs. Sincerely yours, the Treppendalls.

00:17:27
Speaker 7: There’s not a whole lot of experiences that I’ve had that come really very close to the impact that that experience had on me. Dallas actually grabbed me by the hand and said, “They want me to come back and meet with Greg. Would you come with me?” So the three of us went back with all the lawyers in the room, and I can see this to this day. Greg came and sat down ashen, just gray face, terrified at what he was about to hear. And Dallas reached across the table and grabbed Greg’s hands, and he said, “There is zero animosity that if towards you.” “So if there’s any fear in your mind that you might feel, that is gone. It’s not in me.” “And it’s only because the grace of Christ.” So when the judge came in and announced that they had forgiven on me, it was a powerful moment. The whole room was in tears. There was such a wellspring of undeserved favor, and it was beautiful, and I think marked one of the reasons why Greg went on and did well afterwards. Laura would have had it any other way.

00:18:30
Speaker 1: And what a remarkable piece of storytelling. Laura was infectious with grace. I keep picturing her stopping with some friends, seeing that field and then that picture. I see it in my head. I see her in my head, and I know you do too. You want to talk about infectious grace showing up pre-sentencing from a family that could teach all of us a whole lot: how to let go, how to forgive, how to live with grace and mercy. Christian or not, this is the answer. And noticed the careful calibration of that beautiful letter. If only we could all. I’ll write a letter like that after losing a loved one, when.

00:19:07
Speaker 6: We come back.

00:19:08
Speaker 1: Well, one of the most beautiful stories already. And it’s not over that we’ve told here on this show. The story continues here.

00:19:14
Speaker 5: On Our American Stories.

00:19:39
Speaker 1: And we returned to Our American Stories and to Laura Treppendall’s story. Here’s Madison to take it home.

00:19:48
Speaker 2: Many people wonder how the Treppendalls chose to forgive the driver who hit Laura.

00:19:55
Speaker 3: It was no effort to do that. We just weren’t angry at Greg Gibbs. We were sad, but it’s like I felt so sorry for him because of what this had done to his life. I mean, he recognized that he had a problem, and so we couldn’t have ginned up anger if we’d have tried.

00:20:23
Speaker 5: We were sad; we missed Laura.

00:20:27
Speaker 3: Right before the trial, we met with Greg and his parents and his atto.